Rude Text Messages

> More short jokes for mobile phones
Dirty text messages	Fun sms jokes
Chat up sms messages	Friendship text messages
Wisdom sms messages	Silly quotes sms messages
Text message jokes

Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception

Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.

Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo

If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat

If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in

Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.

Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut

Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going

Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nail